


The Thing You Need Most

by WinterSky101



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Book 1: The Hidden Oracle (Trials of Apollo), Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Missing Scene, Nico di Angelo Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Past Character Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sharing a Bed, Touch-Averse Nico di Angelo, Will Solace Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:53:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24490840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterSky101/pseuds/WinterSky101
Summary: When he's finished in the infirmary, when he's finally done all that he can to keep himself distracted, Will staggers into the Apollo cabin and immediately crumples to his knees, tears already springing to his eyes.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 16
Kudos: 220





	The Thing You Need Most

When he's finished in the infirmary, when he's finally done all that he can to keep himself distracted, Will staggers into the Apollo cabin and immediately crumples to his knees, tears already springing to his eyes. He doesn't have to worry about anyone coming in and witnessing his breakdown, after all. Apollo is still talking to Chiron, and his siblings…

Will bites his lip harshly, but it's not enough to stop the tears. A sob rips through his chest, and then another, and before he knows it, he's doubled over, forehead practically touching the floor, and sobbing so harshly he can barely breathe. They're _gone_ , Austin and Kayla are _gone_ , and maybe they'll get them back but there's no promises, no guarantees, and Will is supposed to be the head counselor, he's supposed to take care of them, but he _failed_ , and now he's lost two more siblings (after Lee, after Michael), and he can't do this, he can't, he _can't_ -

There's a tentative knock at the door. Will jerks upright, but even as he's wondering if he can get away with pretending not to be in, he hears a quiet voice call through the door, "Will?"

He knows that voice.

"Come in," he calls, his voice hoarse, and Nico opens the door and slips inside. He doesn't seem particularly surprised to see Will on the floor, but then again, this isn't the first time in the past six months that he's seen Will break down. Will and Nico have been through two wars, and they've both got their scars. Will might hide his better - although Nico is much better at glaring people into submission when they try to talk about them - but that doesn't mean they're not there. Both he and Nico know this. And Nico knows by now that one of Will's biggest triggers is the thought of losing someone he loves, _especially_ a sibling.

And now he's lost two of them in one fell swoop.

Nico sits down crosslegged next to Will. "Hey."

"You're not supposed to be here," Will says, wiping his eyes. "It's past curfew."

Nico shrugs. "No one's going to notice. I don't think anyone would stop me even if they did."

"What if Apollo comes back? He's been sleeping here."

"He won't. He's with Meg McCaffrey at the edge of the woods. I overheard them talking with Chiron. Apollo's not allowed to go searching tonight, so he and Meg are keeping an eye on the woods, just in case anything happens."

"I should be with them," Will says, starting to push to his feet. "They shouldn't be alone, I should be there-"

Nico grabs his arm before he can even get upright. "Will, no. You need to rest."

"My brother and sister are missing, and you're telling me to _rest_?" Will hates the way his voice wobbles, but he can't help it. His siblings are missing, and he's helpless to do anything about it.

"You know you need to," Nico says. "You're exhausted. I can tell. You need to sleep."

"How am I supposed to sleep?" Will demands. "Nico, Kayla and Austin are _missing_. We don't even know if they're _alive_."

"I know," Nico says, and the look in his dark eyes is one that should never be on a teenager's face. "But I'm almost positive Kayla and Austin are alive. I didn't feel them die. They're just missing, like the others. I didn't feel any of them die either, you know that."

Will does know that; Nico has been keeping Chiron as updated as possible on the states of the missing campers. Still, this is different. Sure, Will knew the three campers who disappeared before - he's good friends with Cecil, even if he doesn't know Ellis and Miranda as well - but they weren't his siblings. They weren't his _family_. They weren't people under his protection, people he was supposed to keep safe, people he _failed_.

"Then I need to find them," Will says, but he doesn't try to stand up this time. He _is_ exhausted, both from healing so many campers and his breakdown, and he doesn't think Nico is going to let him go anywhere.

"We'll find them tomorrow," Nico urges, just as Will thought he would.

"What if tomorrow is too late?" Will counters anyway. "As far as you can tell, they're still alive, but that doesn't mean they'll stay that way. They could die any minute, Nico. I need to find them."

Nico takes both of Will's hands in his own, which is startling enough to derail Will for a moment. Nico's grown more comfortable with physical contact the closer they've gotten to each other, but prolonged, intense contact like this is still unusual.

"I know what it's like to lose a sibling," Nico says, his voice quiet and anguished. "I know you know what it's like too. And I'm not letting you lose another one, Will, I promise. Kayla and Austin will be fine. We'll save them. But you won't do anyone any good if you burn yourself out, and you know that. If this were any other situation, if you were talking to any other camper, what would you say to them?"

Will takes a deep breath, holds it for a moment, then lets it out. "I would tell them to rest. I'd tell them they can't take care of anyone else if they don't take care of themselves first."

"I know it's hard," Nico says. "But Will, you have to rest for now. That's the best thing you can do for everyone, Kayla and Austin included."

Will nods, rubbing at his eyes as more tears threaten to fall. "Okay. I'll do my best to get some sleep."

Nico nods. He looks down at their still-joined hands awkwardly, as if he wants to pull away but isn't sure if he should. Will takes mercy on him and lets go, pushing himself up to his feet so he can stagger off into the bathroom and wash his face, at the very least, before falling into bed and hopefully getting some rest.

"I'll see you in the morning," Nico says, standing as well. "And I'll tell you if there are any changes, or if I hear anything-"

"Can you stay?" Will blurts out.

Nico blinks. They've never done this before, at least not purposefully. There have been a handful of times when Will has fallen asleep in the Hades cabin, and one memorable occasion where Nico passed out in the Apollo cabin after overexerting himself with shadow travel (which Will scolded him soundly for), but they've never purposefully stayed the night together.

All things considered, though, Will thinks he'll sleep better if he's not alone.

"I can stay," Nico agrees. "Um, should I- On the floor, or-"

To be honest, Will hadn't thought that far ahead. There are some unoccupied beds in the Apollo cabin, but none of them are unclaimed, they just belong to the seasonal campers. Nico could borrow one of those for the night, but…

"My bed is probably big enough for two."

Nico's eyes go wide. "Your bed?"

"We don't have to," Will assures him quickly. "You can borrow one of the other beds if you want to, or-"

"I can stay in yours," Nico says. "If it's what you want."

"I don't want it if it'll make you uncomfortable."

"It won't," Nico replies. "And if it does, I'll just move into another bed."

"You're sure?"

Nico offers Will a small smile. "I'm sure. Uh, do you have any pajamas I could borrow?"

Will pulls a t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants out of his drawers. "The pants might be a little long-"

"Oh, shut up, Solace."

The thought of smiling still seems alien, but Will can't help the small grin that passes over his face. He hadn't intended the words as a slight against Nico's height, but he should have expected that Nico would take them like that anyway.

"I'll go into the bathroom and get ready and get changed," Will says. "You can get ready out here, and I'll wait until you're changed to come out."

Nico nods and takes the pajamas, then Will ducks into the bathroom and closes the door behind him. He spares a quick glimpse in the mirror and winces. He looks awful, not that he expected anything different. Splashing a bit of water on his face helps, and actually washing it helps even more. A shower would be good, Will is sure, but he doesn't feel up to standing up for that long. Instead, he changes into his pajamas, brushes his teeth, and waits for Nico to call, "I'm ready if you are."

"I'm ready," Will replies, stepping out into the main room of the cabin. Nico is standing next to Will's bed, fiddling with his skull ring. Will's clothes are too big on him, but they don't hang off him quite as much as they would have a few months ago, when he first returned to camp after the war with Gaea. It took a while, but Will finally managed to get Nico onto a good, nutritious diet that wasn't the borderline eating disorder he'd had before. Now, Nico's filled out a bit, and it normally makes Will glad to see evidence of it. It makes him glad now too, but…

He can fix a lot of things, he knows, but it seems like it's always the important things that he's helpless against. He's helpless now, after all.

"They're still alive," Nico says quietly. Apparently, he can read Will's emotions on his face. "I can look for them in my dreams, if you want. Or I could send Clovis after them."

"You need rest too," Will says. "I know you're not really resting when you do things in your dreams."

"I'll ask Clovis, then," Nico says. "I get pulled into the Hypnos cabin all the time anyway. I can go there on purpose tonight."

Will shakes his head slightly. "Your whole lucid dreaming thing is weird, did you know that? I didn't know anyone but a child of Hypnos could do that."

"Hypnos is a chthonic god," Nico replies. "I've met him a couple of times, but I know Thanatos better."

"Of course you do," Will mutters. Sometimes, he forgets how much time Nico has spent living in the Underworld with his father, then Nico mentions something about knowing the literal incarnation of Death and he remembers once again that his boyfriend has probably spent more time among the gods in the past few years than most demigods do in their whole lives.

Nico is still looking at Will's bed, a bit warily. "Do you… How are we going to do this? Which side?"

"Either side is fine," Will replies. "Do you care?"

"Not really."

Will climbs into bed and settles himself on the left side, then pats the space to his right. "Come on in, then."

Nico gets into the bed slowly. "Are you sure you're comfortable with this?" Will asks as Nico gingerly lies down. "If you're not, we don't need to share a bed. You can even go back to your cabin if you want. I can sleep alone for one night."

"I'm not leaving you alone tonight," Nico says in a quiet but firm voice. "And we can share the bed. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

Nico sighs, turning to lie on his back. He stares up at the ceiling. "When I was growing up, unmarried couples would never share a bed like this. At least, they weren't supposed to. But when I was growing up, people weren't allowed to be gay either, so the fact that we're not married would have been the least of our problems."

Will also has a tendency to forget that Nico grew up in the 1930s, since Nico mostly fits in pretty well in the modern era. He doesn't talk about it much - honestly, Will's not even sure how many other people know - but sometimes he'll bring it up with something like this and remind Will all over again.

"Technically, we're not even supposed to be in the same cabin right now," Will says. "If Chiron finds us in here, I don't think claiming to be married would help."

"Somehow, I don't think he'd believe it," Nico says dryly.

Will snorts and resists the urge to curl up against Nico's side. Will is a naturally touchy person himself, but Nico isn't, so Will normally lets Nico take the lead when it comes to physical contact. If Nico turns out to be a cuddler, though, Will definitely won't mind. He'd really like some physical comfort right now.

"What will I do if Kayla and Austin aren't okay?" he asks in a voice so quiet he wouldn't be surprised if Nico couldn't hear it.

"They will be," Nico says. "But if they're not… I'll help you get through it. We'll make it through together."

"I don't want to lose anyone else."

Nico shifts a little. "I could go look for them. I could shadow travel into the forest and-"

"No, no, and no," Will interrupts. "First of all, you need rest as much as I do. Second of all, you shouldn't shadow travel into a dangerous situation, you'll just be exhausting yourself unnecessarily. Third of all, what part of 'I don't want to lose anyone else' do you not understand? I can't lose you either, Nico."

Slowly, Nico turns towards Will. "Do you want a hug?"

"I could really use a hug."

Nico pulls Will into a hug, and although his hugs are always tentative and a little bit awkward, Will wouldn't want them any other way. He closes his eyes and melts into Nico's embrace, and for a few moments, he almost feels peaceful.

"I love you."

They've never said the words before, but to Nico's credit, he doesn't bat an eye. "I love you too," he says quietly. "And I'm not letting you lose anyone else. Kayla and Austin will be fine, if I have to drag them out of the Underworld myself."

"Can you hold me until I fall asleep?"

"I will," Nico promises.

And having Nico here doesn't make everything _okay_ , but it does make it better. At least it means Will isn't alone. At least it means he's got someone here for him, even while his siblings are gone. At least it means he doesn't have to go through this on his own.

And, as Will falls asleep with Nico's arms still around him, he can't help but think that sometimes, that's the thing you need the most.

**Author's Note:**

> My writing tumblr is [here](http://winterskywrites.tumblr.com/), if you're interested.


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